You Have My Attention

On Tuesday, the 30th I watched something magical and very sad happen. Copeland, a band that I listened to back in my freshmen year of high school (Seven years ago now), played their last show in Phoenix, Arizona. It was the third time seeing them over the years, although I would had made it to a few more if my teenage self was not such a lazy and poor bum with no money and no rides ever. The first time I saw Copeland was sometime I believe in 2004 in May. I saw them at the Mason Jar (A tiny old venue that has since closed) with Emery, Evan Anthem, and A Wilhelm Scream for a total of eight dollars. Which by the way whatever happened to those 8 dollar Phoenix shows that had four bands you actually liked? Gone...

At the time Copeland only had one full length album out which was Beneath Medicine Tree. That album played nearly every night as my 15 year old and 16 year old self sat in his room staying awake until the sun would rise. I had extremely bad anxiety growing up, but Copeland was therapy for me. I have since owned every album and have heard every song they ever recorded. Aaron Marsh has a voice that no one can touch. The music is real. I honestly felt like Copeland would never fade away. Every album was different from the last but was still perfect. I bought tickets the day I found out they were breaking up, months before the actual show. The day of the show I had this knot in my stomach, I was dreading seeing them play. I knew this would be the last time. The last show that I truly felt such a passion. Back in the days of Goodbye Tomorrow, Thirte FS/The Shy, Lydia, and all of the touring national bands that were still young and playing their hearts out, I felt this passion every weekend. Besides seeing Mae and Copeland twice, I have not even been to a show in the last year and a half. The Phoenix music scene has completely vanished, and I knew this show would truly bury the last remaining soul that I knew existed in the music realm I had followed for so long.

I have never been to a show where four different songs got me choked up. Where every song lead to me knowing and singing every word. Every song from the first two albums made me look at Lindsay and feel every word as if they were written by me in order to describe how I feel about her. Aaron held out the last note on the last song "You have my attention" for what seemed to be forever. I was stuck in the moment, and felt like I was frozen. I will forever remember that moment in my heart and mind. I guess Copeland needed to break up, because I know I needed that moment. Not only did it rekindle that spark I used to have when it came to music, but it also reassured me that my decisions I am to be making in life are the right ones. Now that Copeland is moving on, it is time for me to do the same. I will be listening to them probably every other day as I always have, but will be more content knowing that this was the music to my youth. I used to have dreams where all the old bands of my teenage years got back together and that if they somehow did so I would be happy with music again. That will not happen and now I understand I need to move on like all the band members have done for quite some time now.

I hope to take the stage soon, as I have written an EP with a friend that brings back that old sound I heard every weekend at Neckbeard's, The Clubhouse, The Sets, Mason Jar, or various other venues. I also know that it will be closure. There are things in life I have to address, and have to take care of. I have grown up and have many aspirations in life and have so many dreams to fulfill. I want to move and have an oceanview outside our window, learn how to surf, raise a family, restore a Chevy Bel Air (Especially since Lindsay would find it sexy to see me drivin a sweet ass classic car), get my college degree, and (soon) become a proud Marine. Of course, music will always be in there too. Problem with that is the fact I love so many kinds of music it will be hard to even choose one to start playing. Guess a reggae/acoustic/indie/hardcore/rock band will appear someday.

So to end this... goodbye Copeland. You were a guardian to me during those tense and fragile teenage years. Thank you for helping me through the hard times, and making the good times... well... great.

What has love become?
It's not like I used to hear in those old songs
And it's not like yours.