Haha Red Green Show

Everyday I contemplate saying this somewhere public, where someone would read it. But I really don't want anyone to read it, or at least I am pretending to think that I don't. Point is, I need to type this and post it into the infinite abyss that is internet. At least now, I can feel just a little better about this.

I miss my best friend. Dearly. I'm not saying that I walk around everyday depressed about it. Far from it, I have way too much good in my life to do that. My kids and wife have a happy father and husband. I have a few other friends who care about me, and do see me once in a while, although I do wish it was more often. But, no one can replace that little space in my heart that was filled by a best friend that I spent 8 long years growing up with. When you know someone from the 6th grade until your early 20's, that is pretty much going through change, after change, after change, after change. And we stuck through it all. The ending confuses me still. We never had some huge fight, never said we hated each other... I could never hate you. I love you still. You were, are and always will be my best friend, regardless of however many years pass when we don't speak. I have tried since that night a total of two times to get back in contact. One time was sending you my wedding invite. A second was a pretty short email just trying to get in touch. Unfortunately, I did not hear back so far. It sucks, but it's life. To be honest, I would had felt better if you just told me upfront you did not wish to speak to me, and if that changed you would take the initiative to get back in touch.

I'm not going to sugar coat this, but I really wish I would hear back from you. Whatever changes and talks we did right before separating ourselves from each other, was not worth losing a very important relationship. You knew things my parents never knew, I spent more time with you than anyone else. We played in countless bands, spent more memorable nights up at 3 am that I can remember, drove a sketchy van to Yuma just to play in front of 15 kids, got stopped by border patrol on the way back, had awful drunken experiences together, realized drinking was the dumbest thing in the world, we cared about hanging with each other more than girls (probably why I almost zero girlfriends in high school), listened to the same music, went to every show together, drove around for hours just because, contemplated eating sonic for thanksgiving dinner rather than be with our dysfunctional families, slept in cars when need be... we were what everyone wanted to have. We were truly best friends. I miss you man. I don't care if you say you've "changed", I have too. I understand all our teenage BS is over with, and all that is left is the memories. I just hope that one day we catch up on these last few years, and never let it happen again.